A Dying Wish and the Return to the Beginning
by magicalalice
Summary: As Hermione Granger lay dying on the battlefield, she can't help but wonder how things could have been better if Harry had been raised by someone who cared for him. The next thing she knows she's in 1981, and she makes a decision to raise Harry Potter and do everything in her power to assure that Voldemort will never return.
1. Prologue

Battle of Hogwarts, May 2nd, 1998.

Hermione lay on the ground staring up at the stars above her, she feels cold and alone. After being hit with a multitude of curses, a wall exploded around her. Looking up at the stars, she can't help but wonder what she could have done differently, if-onlys and what-ifs running through her head. If only I was more prepared, what if we let Remus join us when he asked, we should have told someone, anyone what our plan was, if only Sirius didn't die. If Harry hadn't died. Tears ran down her face as her thoughts ricocheted around inside her head. Shutting her eyes tightly as she took another ragged breath, she knew she was going to die out here.

If only Harry had grown up with people who cared about him." She whispered one last thought up to the stars. A single tear ran down the side of her face before she was enveloped in a feeling of warmth and darkness and she willingly welcomed what she could only assume was her death.


	2. Chapter 1

Chapter One

Godric's Hollow, October 31st, 1981.

Hermione sat up with a start, gasping for breath. She began to panic as she started to recognize her surroundings, she was in James and Lily Potter's house. Looking around she knew it was too late as she took in the sight of Lily's body on the floor in front of her, and baby Harry sleeping in the crib next to her, his face red a blotchy from tears where he cried himself to the point of exhaustion. Her mind was reeling, she needed a plan and she needed one now. There wasn't much time left before someone else would arrive.

"If only Harry had grown up with people who cared about him" she whispered to herself. Without even thinking, while Hermione had no clue as to how she ended up here, but she knew she had to be the one to raise him and protect him from Voldemort. Looking down at Lily's body, a plan began to formulate in her head, she didn't like it, but it was the only way to make sure she kept Harry, and possibly Sirius Black safe. Hermione would have to perform blood magic, she would have to take Lily's appearance and magic and make it her own. She remembered reading about it in the library at Grimmauld Place while she had been on the run with Ron and Harry. At the thought of Ron and the world she left behind, Hermione felt tears sting at her eyes, but she pushed them away, she knew she couldn't think about that now.

"Later, I can cry later." Hermione scolded herself. Taking a deep breath, Hermione reached for Lily's wand and cut a small slit in both of their palms and pressed them together. With her eyes shut tight, she began the intricate wand movements and muttered the spell over and over again. Tears streamed down her face and she could feel in her soul just how dark the magic she was performing was. An ice cold wind suddenly swept around her and Lily, and stopped just as suddenly as it had appeared, the spell was complete. Hermione turned to look in the mirror, and the face of Lily Potter stared back at her.

Hermione looked at the body in front of her, a chill ran down her spine, feeling unnerved at seeing what her own dead body would have looked like. She rose unsteadily to her feet and began to levitate the body silently down the stairs, staring intently at the ground. Once Hermione arrived in the back garden, she began to use her wand to dig a grave, when it was finally deep enough, she gently floated the body of the real Lily Potter into it, and began to move the dirt back where it belonged. She looked back one last time as the grass began to magically grow back as she numbly walked back to Harry's bedroom.

Upon entering the room, Hermione finally allowed herself to breakdown and cry. She slid down the wall and sobbed, overcome with feelings of shame, guilt, and loss. She sat there for what could have been hours, but was only a matter of minutes. Feeling drained as the adrenaline from before had faded away. Hermione heard a faint pop of apparition down stairs. When she hear the stairs creak, she instantly tightened her grip on Lily's wand and was now holding Harry tightly against her chest. She now faced the door ready and more than willing to do anything to protect her best friend.

While Hermione knew that she was in the past, but nothing could have prepared her for the anger she felt when coming face to face with a younger version of her potions professor Severus Snape. He told Voldemort about the prophecy, it was his fault her Harry was dead.

"Lily?" Snape whispered, his voice broken and filled with grief, as he saw Hermione standing with Harry clutched to her chest. "I-I thought," he started before Hermione cut him off, her voice cold.

"I don't care what you think Snape," Hermione spit out venomously, "you need to leave, now."

"Lily, I-" Snape tried again.

"Now, Severus. Before I do something that will land me in Azkaban." Her voice growing brittle as she spoke, "This was your fault, he's dead, and it's your fault." Her voice cracking as she spoke. Snape's face fell even further, he looked torn but finally backed away, and disapparated leaving Hermione alone with Harry once more.

It wasn't much longer before Sirius Black arrived, she knew it was him when an angry and heartbroken scream rang throughout the house. Gathering her courage, and pulling on the last remaining bit of energy she had left, casting the lumos charm Hermione made her way down the hallway to the staircase with Harry still cradled snuggly in her arms. Walking towards the sobs where she knew she would find Sirius.

"Sirius?" Hermione called out softly once she reached the top of the stairs. Her wand hand was shaking slightly as she held up the light from the wand to see the broken image of Harry's godfather before her.

* * *

Disclaimer: JKR owns Harry Potter, I don't. I'm just playing in the sandbox.

AN: A few things I want to clear up in case anyone was confused.

Hermione now looks like Lily, has her magical signature, and is using Lily's wand. Hermione lost hers during the battle of Hogwarts.

Hermione didn't not murder anyone, the was Voldemort. Hermione just made Lily's body look like herself and buried it in the backyard.

Harry's still a hurcrox, and Hermione blames Snape (at least partially) for the death of Harry (he died for real in BoH in this fanfic) since he shared the Prophecy.

Also sorry for any typos are grammar errors, I don't have a beta, but if anyone's interested PM me! Also sorry for the prologue being so short, I plan on most chapters being about this length or longer.


	3. Sorry this is not a new chapter

This is not a new chapter, just a note to tell those who have enjoyed this beginning of a fic how sorry I am. A lot has changed in my life since I originally started writing this and I just jumped head first into writing this before planning it out and I've long since lost the drive and inspiration to finish this story. I honestly have no idea what was supposed to happen after what I've already written. Maybe some day I can come back and figure out what to make of this beginning of a fic, but I don't see that happening anytime soon. Thank you for all the support and lovely comments and I can't express how truly sorry I am that I have been unable to take the story any further than I have. I'm not giving up writing, just taking a break to work on other things and ideas. I hope you all stay happy safe and healthy during this time.


	4. Chapter 2

Soooo, I felt really super crazy bad and awful and guilty for not being able to write much more of this, and for having given up. But inspiration struck like 20 minutes after my last update, but I wasn't able to write until today. Inspiration seems to be a fickle fickle mistress. You really are a wonderful bunch and I'm sorry I don't have more to share. But I will try to share what I do have when I have it.

Sirius felt as though his heart had been ripped from his chest and sobs tore through him. James, his brother in all but blood was gone. It didn't take much for Sirius to picture what had happened to the Potter family as he took in the destruction around him. Alone in his grief, he didn't notice the creaking of the floor above him.

"Sirius? Sirius, is-is that you?" Lily's exhausted voice called from the top of the stairs, her Lumos briefly blinding him. He can make out the small bundled shape of Harry in her arms, he can hear her heart racing, hear her panicked breathing, and see the relief and fear clashing in her eyes.

"Lils?" He chokes out in relief at the sight she and Harry are there before him, alive and breathing. "Lils are, are you and Harry alright?" He asked as he tried to carefully climb the crumbling stairs. Lily's eyes hardened and she was quick to jab her wand into his chest.

"What did I forbid you from doing the first time you held Harry?" Lily asked, her voice ice cold and unforgiving.

"You, you told me I could never teach Harry how to land birds, the best way to sneak fire whiskey into Hogwarts, how to sneak out the castle, and how to climb up the stairs to the girls' dorms," Sirius answered, his hands in the air. At his answer, Lily dropped her wand arm slightly, still on edge after everything that had happened. "My turn love, tell me how I was involved with your and James' first kiss?" His voice breaking slightly at the mention of James.

"Do you mean how you and James used to practice snogging with each other, or how you trapped the two of us in the ruddy broom closet by magicking away the doorknob only for it to reappear after we had "a good and proper snog"?" Lily answered back, almost laughing at the memories. Sirius rushed up the stairs at her answer and hugged her and Harry tightly to his chest, his emotions running rampant, his head spinning as he tried to wrap his head around everything that had happened.

"I-I'm so glad you two are safe" he cried softly into his friend's hair, inhaling her comforting scent as he tried to pull himself together. He stiffened suddenly, his trademarked Black temper taking started to take hold and his anger grew. "Peter." Sirius spat out angrily. Lily grabbed him suddenly, pulling away to look him in the eyes.

"No. Not right now Sirius." Lily started, "We need to get out of here, we need to find Remus, and we need to hide." Her tone so deadly serious, she spoke so softly Sirius could only just hear her, "I don't trust Dumbledore, and I don't trust that You-Know-Who is _really_ gone, Sirius." They stared at each other until Harry started to stir in Lily's arms, looking down at his god-son Sirius nodded.

"Let's get out of here. Don't worry Lils, we'll find Moony, and I've got a place we can go." Sirius promised as he pulled Lily and Harry as they apparated away into the night.


End file.
